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How to Plan a Blended Family Wedding

Planning a wedding involves more than just the man and wife. When couples are getting married for the second time there can be children involved from previous relationships. The blended family has become a beautiful part of new wedding traditions. What is a blended family or blended wedding? When two people fall in love after previous relationships or divorces, most of the time there are kids or step children. The combining of two or more families is referred to as a ‘blended’ family. The blending of two families can be a symbolic time for any couple. One thing they teach in blended family counseling is that children of divorce and new marriages need reassurance. In the beginning, the children might struggle to accept the new change but incorporating them into your wedding ceremony is a beautiful way to break the ice and make them feel comfortable. And the process doesn’t have to be a difficult time; involving kids in your wedding can be a great memory for everyone.

The traditional wedding ceremony features symbolic readings and scriptures. Instead of having your friends or siblings speak at your ceremony, consider having your children recite a poem or story. Their involvement is a tangible symbol of your new life together. They’ll be more apt to grow together with you as a couple and a family if they’re part of the ceremony and readings. Couples are choosing to incorporate their family into their wedding vows by changing the words “I Do” to “We Do” or “Do you take this family”. With these new vows the ceremony becomes a proclamation of the new commitment to each other and your families. A promise to a child is a beautiful way to assure them your new relationship won’t overshadow your commitment to your family and their future.

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A popular way to incorporate children into your wedding is to have them be a flower girl or ring boy. If your children are older, consider having a candle lighting ceremony. The unity sand ceremony and candle lighting ceremony can all be adapted to include children. Instead of using two colors of sand, add different bright colored sand for each child. They’ll be able to help you in your ceremony and acknowledge their place in your life. While we know that children are forever, it is nice to show them and recognize them. They’ll love being in front of everyone and showing their place in the family. A candle lighting ceremony is a popular choice for older kids. Each person has a tapered candle that they use to light one larger candle. A blended family ceremony is about more than proclaiming your vows. Incorporating a unity ceremony can be a tangible way to show your child your commitment.

After you’ve exchanged family vows and commitment ceremony, the family ceremony can be incorporated into your reception as well. A blended family wedding can be the symbolic part of the wedding and the reception can be the celebration! During the reception, instead of having a typical bride and groom dance have a family dance. The father can dance with the daughters and the mother can dance with the sons. If there is one child or an odd number, you can all dance together. Pick a fun song such as “We Are Family” for kids to relate to. Near the end of the song, as your other immediate family members to join in. Coming together for a symbolic first dance will confirm and celebrate the new blended family. Remember that “we” now means family. When you have a toast or cut the cake, involve the children. If they’re old enough to choose to sit out, don’t force them but if they’re young enough to enjoy it they will remember how it made them feel. Combining families and blending two lives together will make them feel confused at first, but if you celebrate and involve your new children they’ll remember happy memories of growing together.

Incorporating fun unity ceremony sand in different colors and sharing a loud obnoxious first dance are great ways to create memorable moments together. A blended family means that there are more people to consider and feelings to respect so be sure to ask everyone how they want to be included. Maybe your older children would like to be a best man or bridesmaids while younger children would like to carry the flower basket or help with lighting a unity ceremony candle. Each person will have different ways of coping with the change. The best way to blend two families together is to involve everyone in a memorable and celebratory way!